So you’ve set out on the journey of finding a Christian mentor, huh?
Why are you looking for a mentor? For advice? Because you’re overwhelmed? Because you’re struggling with a big decision? Do you feel burned out or need help finding a work-life-balance? Do you just want a friend who’s also wise?
Oh, you’re set on finding a Christian mentor for all of those reasons! Ha ha! (This is a stress-laugh. An overwhelmed laugh. A this-isnt-really-funny-but-I-dont-know-how-to-respond-other-than-to-laugh laugh.)
The desire for a mentor is a REALLY good thing. God created us to be in relationships with people who offer wisdom, advice, friendship, and encouragement. And since you’re in the market for finding a Christian mentor, here are some things we’ve done to find the right kind of person.
1. Look for quality character
A good mentor doesn’t offer as much advice as you’d think, but they ask great questions. And these questions often help guide us to our own conclusions about what to do. Sure, sometimes they might offer advice too, but great mentors typically guide by letting us figure things out on our own.
…and then they listen! Really listen. And the way they listen? It’s with kindness and gentleness. They also love God—a lot—but in a genuine way. And they are wise—they’ve been around the block enough times to know what they know (and what they don’t). And they aren’t afraid to admit when they don’t know something.
2. Find someone older
Life-experience matters. And typically older people are wiser people (not always, of course!).
Also, older people often have more time, and the desire to see us youngins grow in life and faith. So is there an older person at church or work who has the qualities above? If so, see steps 3 and 4.
3. Pray and ask God for someone
One of our teammates was praying for a mentor, and ended up in a business meeting with a guy he’d never met before. He felt a nudge to reach out and ask if the guy would be up for coffee. He did, and they’ve been friends for 10 years. Don’t underestimate God’s desire for you to find a good mentor, and don’t be afraid to ask him for one.
4. Ask someone
It’s surprising how many people are willing to help or offer advice, and just need to be asked. We’ve met quite a few older people who have said things like, “I would love to be a mentor, but no one has asked me.”
And if you think about it, it would be pretty weird to have someone come up to you and ask, “Hey! Do you have a mentor? If not, I’m available.”
So ask someone you feel God has brought into your path. And if you grab coffee and it’s not a good fit, that’s okay! You can always ask someone else.
Obviously finding a Christian mentor isn’t as sure-fire as following steps #1-4, but hopefully this helps you get started. And we pray with you that God brings the right person (or persons) quickly!
